Gabriel
by Crow of the Dark Forest
Summary: This is my character, Gabriel- and his troubles.


_**Gabriel**_

I guess this is how it's gonna be. I mean, seriously, who would be such a complete and utter idiot as to hate someone for their heritage? It's nothing _we_ did...

But whatever.

It doesn't matter, because I guess that's what's happening to me. I didn't ask for any of this! I got kicked off both of my parents territories... and for what? Because I'm a _hybrid_ and _hybrids_ aren't allowed to have _lives_ apparently.

I allowed a sigh to pass through my lips. I felt my legs begin moving forward. Whatever. If my legs wanna go somewhere, I for sure ain't stopping them.

I checked my thin sword on my hip, making sure I wasn't as careless as they named me.

_Stupid hybrid- good for _nothing_ except destroying everything in their sight._ I remember my mother's clan sneering that at me when I was chased off their precious land.

_He's too out of control- hopefully he'll self destruct and save us all the trouble._ My dad's little pure blood family.

I winced at the memories, pulling my emotions as far back as I could. Too animal-like to be the graceful warrior my father is... and too graceful to be the Wolven my mother is.

I hate it.

All of it.

I wish I could sink my fangs into _all_ their necks and rip out their throats just to have the pleasure of hearing their agonized screaming and the abrupt stop as their vocal cords cease working and their life blood seeps out of them like a red Niagara.

Oh, the images...

_Ow._

I blinked in shock, looking around.

"I-I'm very sorry..." a young girl hastily picked up her things. I was quiet for a moment, shocked. I didn't get- oh, yes, that's right. I wouldn't get hit now since I'm alone. _Alone._

"No, it was my fault." I stuttered out, trying to get over the fact she hadn't done it on purpose to try and make me fight.

She just blushed, still shaking her head, God knows _why_ she kept shaking her head-

Aw, really? Stupid humans always dropping their stuff. Great. I really was lowest of the low. Apologizing to some stupid ass human. Wow, I really _am_ fucked up.

I moved around her and kept walking. I _really_ need to find a place to live, one. And two- I need to find someone who's willing to help me.

Yes, me, the disgusting hybrid who everyone wants to fall off the face of the earth to save them the trouble. Well.

Fuck. You. 'Cause I ain't going out that easy.

Ha. Ha.

I pulled the sword slowly out the sheath, loving the sound metal against metal, almost as pleasant as the wind strumming the chimes... I slammed my sword down to the hilt.

Through his stomach and out his back.

"Not so hot now, are you? You idiot... I can't be beaten by a mere _pureblood_. I can only be killed by my own kind. Oops, I'm sorry- there aren't any others. Sucks for you." the stupid ass demon gasped a few times like a little fishie and finally _died._ Thank _God, _that was done quickly. I don't have patience for these things anymore.

Now. Food.

Yes, even hybrids need to eat.

And, no, I'm not gonna eat the guy I just killed. I'm not _that_ desperate.

Or so I tell myself.

I had to keep moving... but I am truly tired of running. Not that anyone gives a second thought. Not that they'd consider backing off and letting me get on with the shit life I _do_ have.

Feeling the extra weight in my hand, I looked down. Smirk. My instrument... Frown... that is covered in black and green grime. I swung it around a few times just to hear it chime...

WACK. I curled my lip in disgust, letting a feral snarl ripple through my throat. Was _everyone_ out to get me today?

My heritage- yes, my disgusting messed up genes- allowed me to make the very ground shudder in fear of my power. Sorry, potential power. Scanning around quickly, I brought my sword up in a wide arc, blocking the rock as if it were no more than a harmless leaf. The rock hurtled towards the...

Kid. That little piece of... Well, lunch is served.

An evil smirk played across my lips. I can be the monster they name me. Let's see what those hypocritical bastards will do about it. I let the power overcome my senses, allowing that animalistic rage to surface. This kid picked a bad day to be chucking rocks. Sorry kid, that's what you get.

I sheathed the sword as gracefully as can be, allowing my eyes to change color, feeling the rush of power, the promise of rage and insanity... the storm of a hybrid was not an easy one to ride through- just about as bad as sailing a wooden canoe through the Bermuda Triangle. Wink.

I roared, the sound shattering the silence into a billion pieces, the trees leaning back, their groans of pain filling the ground and air. I lunged at the kid, the evil smirk on my face. It shrieked and fell backwards, the fear in its eyes and sweating from its pores like a drug to me. Adrenaline laced blood was _sweet_.

I embraced the change, shifting into my beloved form midair. I tore out its throat. The blood spurted out like a warm geyser, the gargling noises were just it drawing in its last agonized, lung wrenching breaths. Good bloody riddance. The shadows were wreathed around my wolf form, hugging to my body like a second skin, and surrounding the air around me like a protective cloak. My own little air sanitizer- I can't get gassed in this form... I was a- no, THE- Shadow Wolven.

The wolf veiled in shadow.

I let my instincts take over...

I ate.

I never considered that what I was doing could've been wrong... but then again... would I have cared? Probably not.

All I know is, right now, my stomach is semi full and that I need to keep moving in some direction or another.

I contemplated shifting back.

I contemplated staying in my beloved wolf form where I could escape this stupid reality and enter the blissful nothingness of insanity.

I sighed, drawing my power back in, making my logic and my sense of reality return. I loathed this. But I couldn't afford to stay in that form... or the insanity would be permanent. It's called going feral. I wish.

But what draws more attention? A shadow wolf the size of a horse? Or a youngish demon?

I wish I could choose the former, but I'm not an idiot. I have to stay hidden until I can access my full power... which could take a while. I didn't have that kind of time.

Thinking deeply about it... I had gone left, right, right, left, left, left... now's time to go right.

I set off at a brisk, ground eating pace, stretching out my legs, feeling my own power. The trees suddenly went on the offensive, their golden leaves hissing at me as I jogged past, their roots surfacing in an attempt to trap me.

Even the trees loathed me.

How long could this go on?

How long could I stand to do this?

The temptation to go feral was getting the better of me. It was beginning to sound like a choice... I can't afford to shift into that form for awhile. I need to survive.

I can hear those stupid... whatever they want to call themselves- telling me why I can't go feral, and if I did, how much trouble it would cause them to hunt me down and kill me. Not that they wouldn't enjoy it. They're just lazy is all. How lovely.

I froze suddenly, lifting my nose to scent the wind. I need to get _focused!!!_

Smoke.

The leaves crackled and hissed at me as I tread on them. I snapped at the ground with my fangs and they were silent, the only sound now was their shaking.

I winced, drawing in another deep assessing breath. This wasn't regular smoke. It was the type of smoke that tainted your lungs, buried itself deep within you until it felt like a parasite, a disease. Something so deeply felt and loathed that after awhile you are unable to permit its presence anymore. That's when mass suicide occurs. It's like a well buried resentment in disease form that actually kills you. I smacked myself mentally. Need to stay _focused_.

I buried my hands into my pockets, looking for my cloth. I knelt down and doused it with some water from the nearby little water hole- and held the cloth over my nose and mouth.

What were they burning you ask?

Hybrids.

The hybrids unlucky enough to either go feral or that were too weak to resist capture.

I winced in sympathy, the shudder running through my body in resentment and a sorrow so deep I felt it all the way to my bones.

Was this my destiny?

_Of course not._

Liar.

I stiffened my spine, glaring at the smoke. I _will_ survive. I will use this as a base. I won't become one of them. Ever.

But first I needed to find an ally. I could do this alone... but finding a buddy would make my fight with my own darkness much easier to bear. If I stayed sane long enough... I set off quickly, sprinting, pressing the cloth tighter over my nose and mouth. I wouldn't inhale this crap. I already had enough to deal with.

_Fighting nonstop for hours on end... takes a toll, I was finding out. Dodging left, right, down, jumping up just trying to get away from her sword's steel bite. Dodging lower than I expected, my knees went out from under me with a small creak of protest. I went down with a dull thud. Before I could even _blink_, her sword's cold fangs rested on my exposed neck. I was breathing hard, looking up at my opponent in despair and disbelief. _Beautiful blue eyes_. She'd gotten me. Smirking, she knelt in front of me, and kissed me._

_It was all over._

I opened my eyes in alarm, jumping quickly up into a tree- that promptly threw me back down. I snarled, making the tree swing its branches at me... Dodge. I decided... right now I didn't feel like fighting. I bolted, forgetting my previous promise, and allowed the power to wash over me, let it take over... and I was free, a wolf with no boundaries.

Running was one of the best things in the world. I could never get tired of it... it was exhilarating and such a release... and I rarely got to do it anymore.

Sorrow pulsed in my heart, making me believe for a moment that this all too familiar sorrow would make my heart stop with just its sheer weight and intensity.

My wolf form stopped and snarled, slashing open the ground, almost as if the wolf were trying to make the very earth bleed for what'd it'd done to us. I sighed, calming the hopelessness, and pushed onward, making my legs stretch out...

Question is- Was it the wolf's legs? Or mine? Was there even a difference anymore?

I snarled and roared... just as the wolf- I used my fangs and claws... just as the wolf did. Was there even a difference between my demon form or my wolf?

Shit, you tell me.

I tripped. I _tripped._ This, my little friend, is ridiculous. I _never_ trip. I seem to use never a lot- and whenever I say that, it tends to bite me in the ass later.

I stumbled after that stumble, and the wolf (I?) snarled, sliding to a stop. Spinning around, I made the shadows whip around me protectively. I was being either stalked, and my body was telling me this, or I was struck by something to make me off balance-

I bolted, knowing if I stopped again, I was doomed. Not captured, not beaten up, _dead._

I heard a loud snarl behind me, and I made sure I did not trip again.

I... have... been running... for... two... literally _bloody_... days... straight... and whatever is behind me... is _still_ behind me... Dodging trees... and unfortunate people... that I've run over...

I want to pass out... but I have to survive... the wolf is too tired, not enough food and rest to be at full strength to... start with. My pursuer isn't even... winded... probably at full strength...

_Holy-!_ I ate _shit._ My legs buckled after slamming into something else- a yelp escaped my jaws, and hit the ground harder than a damned meteor.

I shifted back, breathless, whipping out my sword just in the nick of time- and was met by another blade. I couldn't even look at my attacker straight in the eye, had to keep moving, had to keep trying to score a hit-

The fighting wasn't stopping.

Fighting nonstop for hours on end... takes a toll, I was finding out. Dodging left, right, down, jumping up just trying to get away from her sword's steel bite. Dodging lower than I expected, my knees went out from under me with a small creak of protest, I went down with a dull thud. Before I could even _blink_, her sword's cold fangs rested on my exposed neck. I was breathing hard, looking up at my opponent in despair and disbelief._ Beautiful blue eyes._ She'd gotten me. Smirking, she knelt in front of me, knocked my sword away... and kissed me.

It was all over.

Ah, shit. Sound familiar? I couldn't... pull away... the wolf part of me let go of the little control I did have, and I was... lost...

Black.

_Voices._

Killing... not smart... potential...Power he possesses...

_What? Since when do _I_ bow down to be someone's pet?_ _And why can I only hear snippets of their damned conversation!!??_

He's awake. / Sedate him then. / It will harm him if we do a second dose! / Do you want us all dead? if he has so much power, he'll survive it./

_I tried to move, tried to summon my energy, and I was numb. Pain..._

Black.

He should wake up shortly.../ I want him awake NOW./ Please, some patience./

All the voices were running together again... but not like before... but seriously, what the hell? Thank goodness I'm more coherent... I opened my eyes. The impatient asshole was an older... human?! And the one trying to help my sorry ass... was her.

The blue eyes.

_My _eyes widened as I looked at her. She smiled.

Ah.

What a smile.

_Get a hold of yourself. _I heard my darker side of me say. _She's just a stupid traitor-_

Oh, shut up. Let me enjoy seeing this smile. The smile for _me._ If she's a traitor, so what? Let me enjoy the moment.

I never had that happen... someone smiling at me. Not once. And like the idiot I am, I smiled back.

_Pansy._ My other side scoffed. _You'd fall for any girl that smiled at you._

Nah. Well... maybe.

"I see you are awake." the old man said loudly. I smirked. He was unsure of me. I could smell his adrenaline, lacing his blood...

"He's half feral." her voice, was seriously, of the angels. Not that I wanted an angel. Being a demon and all. But I can admire their voices. Whoa. Wait. She could be a _fallen_ angel.

_Get a life, Gabriel._

Shut up, incessant voice that's _still_ the other half of my half insane mind.

"Am not." I stated angrily, letting my voice go low and gravelly, just wanting to hear his blood pressure increase... I tasted the air, inhaling deeply.

"Adrenaline druggie." she stated, bending over me.

That, my friends, is when I noticed I was strapped onto a table. See what a girl can do to your senses? Wow.

I smiled, my fangs flashing for the human to see. He stepped back.

"Stop showing him fear. He feeds off of it." she said snippily to the human. I like snippy. As long as it's not directed at me.

"What do you want from me?" I asked, suddenly feeling weariness wash over my bones. Ugh. I felt like I had just been pounded into a pulp.

"We want to access your full power-"

"And put a collar on me and use me as your hunting/slave puppy?" I interrupted sweetly- maybe she _was_ just a manipulative- She smacked me on a sore spot. I swore. Loudly. And snapped my fangs at the human. Who promptly squeaked. I will enjoy this as long as his blood is laced...

"Gabriel."

I froze, my attention on her, my muscles shrieking in protest as I tensed. She was holding a collar. With spikes lining it.

Sorry. With spikes lining the _inside_ of the collar.

I was screwed. Yup. Call me puppy.

I hissed, allowing them to witness my... _displeasure._ She looked... not so apologetic.

"And who's to be my _master?_" I spat. Her blue eyes shimmered.

"I am."Oooh, lucky me.

"Now, shift into your shadow form."

I snarled in defiance. She snarled right back. The human smacked me hard in a place that no man should be subjected to by an old man. I snapped my fangs together, the loud click filling the room. She clicked the collar neatly around my soon to be tortured neck. I howled.

She undid my damning restraints. I was smart enough to stay put, glaring.

"I. Said. _Shift."_ I went down to my knees as the spikes entered my neck. I choked... the spikes...

I shifted, a loud howl erupting from my now open throat.

Her blue eyes were smiling.

My red eyes were averted. I can't glare at the bitc- Master. I can't even call her anything except Master unless I want to lose my only semi important air supply. My ears laid back in reluctant submission against my head. I was helpless.

For the moment.

I snarled as the collar tightened. Then it loosened... I can't think about anything... so this is why slaves are so obedient. Sheesh.

She stroked my black fur possessively. I curled my lip, revealing long, slightly serrated fangs. I got a smack over my sensitive ears.

"Now, Gabriel. You will follow me, and be as submissive as possible for your thick head to comprehend." she said sternly. I coughed, a low grunt from the great maw of my wolf form. She glared icy daggers. I laid down tiredly. I had lost quite a bit of blood a bit too recently. Can't really expect me to go all badass on her when I was this weak- and with this damned thing that controls even what I think.

This was bad.

She began walking. I yelped as the collar tightened- and I loped to her side, hackles raised. I wish I had eaten more than just that scrawny assed kid. Too late now.

Right now- I was just a servant. A slave.

I stayed silent as I followed her, my muscles shrieking in pain as I forced each muscle to extend and contract, trying to do _something_ besides feel like a stupid lap dog!

"You will guard me." I sighed inwardly. "And if need be, release all of your power to ensure my protection and safety." I rolled my shoulders, ignoring her. "And if you do not obey- you will die."

Really? Tell me something I _don't_ know.

She walked into a room. The guard guarding (imagine that?) tried to stop me- and for my safety, I nearly broke down the door. She was smirking. The kind of smirk that makes you want to slap- I mean, caress- it right off her damn face. I winced, feeling the spikes. It was worth it though.

"Shall we begin?" She asked sweetly, sitting down in one of the chairs. I sat down behind her chair, bored. When you're as big as I am, there's really no intimidation involved. I was probably gonna sit here for the duration-

I snapped my fangs, a loud snarl erupting from my throat. That guy looked like he'd seen a ghost. I wasn't gonna end my life for the stupid bitch- much less lose it because some ass had a hidden sharp thing that he would stab at her with. She looked like she had just won the lottery.

"Anymore attempts, gentlemen?" she asked just as sweetly before. She was the only female. I just noticed. Wow. They all looked down, away, or at me. I felt like a six year old who'd just learned how to start a fire.

Blah blah blah blah blah. We need to keep the money coming in. We need to keep the hybrid numbers down. Yadda yadda... _all the things I_ _should be_ _preventing_. But apparently my current occupation is keeping me here. I can't even say what I wanna call her.

She sharply rapped the paper on the desk, sliding backward. I was out of her way pretty quick.

"Thank you, gentlemen. I will make sure I do my part- as I trust you will." she made her way out. Ah, I had to follow her. Damn.

I might just go insane. This was ridiculous.

I had to play bodyguard. Fabulous.

I wish the whole thing would just go away.

_**Flashback**_

I walked over to my father, curious. I can't really understand why he'd call me over. I hope it's not about the fight... it's not my fault I can't fight like them...

"Gabriel, I have some bad news."

I tensed, narrowing my eyes.

"You mean good news for you." he studied me with his stupid calm eyes. I quieted.

"You are going to live with your mother's tribe."

"You're joking." I gaped. "They'll hate me." Pause. "Not that'd it make a difference." I spat, letting my temper rise. He sighed. I _loathed_ his calm...

"You are leaving for your own protection." Pause. "You'd do better there-"

"No. I wouldn't. It'd be the same situation- except this time I'll be too graceful instead of too animalistic!" He flinched. Good.

"You are leaving in twenty minutes."

"_What._"

"Nineteen. Go and pack your things." I snarled, hatred filling my bones with energy. I was beginning to feel that rage they had warned me about...

But I liked it. So screw them.

I stormed out, knowing my eyes must be glowing with the energy I was feeling and giving off. Oh, he would pay. Yes. He would pay.

I took twenty two minutes to pack three things- just to piss him off, and watch his usual calm demeanor get destroyed. I would make my mother miserable too, just for abandoning me. Let's see what else she does to give me an excuse to get revenge on her too.

_**In the Grasp of Spikes and Torture (Ew.)**_

I wish I had a family. Well, one that cared anyways. Now I am just a pathetic slave... bowing to the whims of the Master since... I _think_ about... three months ago. Endless fighting. Food that I wouldn't even throw on the _ground_ for fear of contaminating the world.

Maybe today I could find the strength...

I will let Lucian out to do it. He doesn't work off of thoughts... pure instinct. Exactly what we need to get out of this hell hole.

Oh...

_Lucian_.

_**Lucian**_

I am awake... and in command. Finally.

I sense the idiocy... the ignorance, blissful arrogance- I can practically smell it. But what I loathe the most about this situation- is how much pain I'm in. But that's why she did it- no one likes pain, and I'm no exception.

I scented the air, taking careful precautions. Thankfully, anyone that walked down here would smell- their adrenaline would lace their blood, and their heartbeat would be pounding as loudly as a bass drum echoing through a hollow house. I would have so much warning, it's ridiculous. I was going to get out, whether it took two minutes, or two _years_. I refuse to be stuck in here forever.

Laying on my side, I began weakening the collar from the inside out, using my shadows. After what seemed to be forever...

_Crack_.

That, was probably the most satisfying and rewarding sound I've _ever_ heard.

I used Gabriel's hidden power, (the stuff he didn't know he had) and sank into the shadows, letting them flow through me...

We were free.

_**Gabriel**_

What _now_ you stupid _bitch_??!! I felt like screaming as I bolted down the narrow road, letting my legs stretch out, feeling the wind in my face. I had to switch back into my regular form... the feral side of me had too much of a hold already. Lifting my nose slightly and cocking my head to the side, I inhaled deeply, drawing in the scents of the village...

I took off at a jog, and almost ran into a little old lady.

"Whoa! Sorry about that-" I was so startled-

"That's quite alright." she responded, a little winded from my explosive entry. I smiled apologetically, getting my senses back and helping her balance. She took her arm back, almost in offense. I let my arm drop back to my side.

"I'm sorry for the... unexpected entry... but do you happen to have any food I can buy?" I asked quietly, following her around her garden. She sighed, but nodded, walking into her house... I could hear her rummaging around for a few minutes. I was quiet.

Walking out slowly, her gait full of arthritis, she handed me a pretty good sized bag. In return- I handed her a small bag full of silver. Worth the food and more. Her eyes widened in surprise, a smile lighting up her face like the sun after a storm... and when she looked up at me, they reflected a sudden and unexpected gratitude so deep I couldn't even fathom it. I had a feeling she was aching for money... and I had given her the hope she had lost.

I disappeared before she could thank me.

The gratitude... Ah, forget it. I didn't deserve what she had just given me.

_A smile_.

I was running again, feeling great with a full belly and a renewed heart. I paused suddenly, slowing to a fast walk. I was strong... there were demons who were unable to protect themselves... they resided in the towns...

I could be a guardian.

Or... I could give myself up to someone of _my_ choosing...

A smile flitted across my face, lingering for a moment... and was gone.

There's an idea. _But maybe not._

Walking into the village, I noticed one thing. Sorry, two things.

One, there was even split between humans, demons, and hybrids. Two, they were all in worse shape than I was. Which was saying something. And worse- there were slave traders here. I quickly hid the still open scar that circled around my neck, using a leftover bandage. This could either go well, or very, very bad.

I walked over to a lone corner and leaned against the cold wall, my eyes wary as I scanned the crowds. And you know? I saw something I didn't expect to see- and something I didn't at all expect to feel.

I saw a girl. She had beautiful golden eyes... eyes filled with despair... her will and spirit had been crushed by the onslaught...

She had a collar ringing her slender neck.

I felt unexpected, uncontrollable rage sweep me away as I attacked her keepers.

_**Lucian**_

Just like him to attack.

I slammed my entire body weight into the poor girl's keepers, using my fangs to tear them apart. I used every ounce of energy I possessed to kill every single one of them.

That's what you get when Gabriel summons _me_- his more feral side.

All death.

All despair.

All madness as it seeks to control you and those that surround you.

_**Gabriel**_

... Coming to my senses, I found myself in a protective stance in front of the young woman. Her eyes were wide in shock- and I could smell the adrenaline coursing through her veins. I sighed, breaking the terrified silence.

"I thought you might want some assistance." I said calmly, snapping the collar gently from her neck and taking a step back. She looked up at me, cautious, curious, wary... confused.

"Why would you help me?"

I paused, looking at her.

"How couldn't I? You looked as if you were pain... I don't really know what happened after that." the crowd that had gathered dispersed quickly. I heard 'feral' murmurs, murmurs about my uncontrollable I was, how I was such a threat... I heard all that and slapped myself mentally. I hated this-

I felt a soft hand touch my arm. I flinched back at the unexpected touch. The hand pulled away. I looked at her in sudden shock. Confusion.

"Now, why are _you_ comforting a _killer_?" I asked sarcastically, my mood change startling me a little. It should've bother me a whole hell of a lot... but I found myself not caring anymore. She looked at me sadly.

"I am comforting something that's broken and harsh. You are like glass... beautiful when whole... sharp and dangerous when shattered. You have been hurt one too many times." I was silent, staring into her eyes. Daring her to look away.

She didn't.

_I_ was the one who looked away.

"I can help you..." she touched my arm. I pulled away, alarmed at the contact. _I_ was the one who should be doing the protecting... I felt out of control...

I had to get out of there. And I did the only thing I knew how to do.

I ran.

How could she possibly even _comprehend_ what all I've been through? I kept running, knowing what a coward I was. And the scary thing was... I didn't care. At all.

_That's what _you_ get for going feral._

Shut. Up.

I slammed my mind closed, feeling my emotions begin to shut down.

_Do NOT lose everything we've worked for! _Lucian's voice was faded...

I sighed. I won't give in. Yet. I felt his relief. I didn't care.

_I did not care._

_**Flashback**_

I arrived at my mother's territory. My hand was hidden underneath my cloak as I held my dagger close to me, as some kind of reassurance that wasn't a real reassurance. They were too powerful... and too angry. I felt their fury at my presence, and I'm sure they felt mine. There's obviously two things we have in common. Our blood, and our fury at my being forced here. Oh, one more thing.

We _loathed_ each other.

My mother walked out.

Her coat was as black as mine was. Genes.

"Hello, Gabriel." her voice was low and harmonic. I felt an old ache deep within my heart.

"Hello." I couldn't bring myself to say 'mother.' Mothers didn't abandon their children. I felt her cold gaze on my face like an unwanted touch.

"You will have to shift. You cannot stay in that form here." she said quietly. I complied eagerly allowing my energy rein. Funny, I wasn't allowed to shift at dad's. This is how different both my parents are. Kids... one night stands _suck_.

My shadow form.

She didn't step back or anything... but I could feel her distaste. I snarled, the shadows boiling around me angrily. She snarled in response, hackles raised, moving away. Great.

My mother was a bitch. In the literal sense too.

I bolted, letting everything go. Screw this. I wasn't going to stay here.

_**Running**_

Seems to be the only thing I'm good at. I really just want to let go...

I was still in the forest. Still in basically the same vicinity as my mother. That probably made it more dangerous. But guess what? I _don't care._

I started to jog, looking around, still uninterested. I paused, feeling a distinct change-

I felt something tackle me. I snarled in surprise, shifting. And I felt it snap around my neck. I howled in fury, the shadows wreathing around me, the trees leaning away from me.

I guess they didn't know. That I don't care. I lashed out-

"Stop! I just want to talk!"

-And let it _all_ go...

_**Lucian**_

Seems I'm out. I growled at the person.

"Thanks, jackass." I spat. And I stopped. It... was a young woman. "What the _hell_ are you doing with a collar?" I yelled. WAM. I howled, jumping away. "What the hell-"

"Silence." a young woman spat. The fury was based on fear. "I have you in my possession now, so deal with it. You're going to help me."

"Like hell I am! You caught Gabriel. I'm not Gabriel. This doesn't work on me." She looked startled. Good.

"I... I..."

"You have nothing on me, kid. What the hell do you need help with?" I asked, just out of curiosity. "You could've just asked him instead of scaring him shitless." She had the grace to look ashamed.

"You need to protect me." I laughed.

"Protection? Who would bother trying to hurt _you_?" She blushed. I laughed again.

"They are after my blood." I sobered up completely. Sometimes, little girls were chased because their blood was extremely powerful. Mixed with a powerful demon- their offspring could be indestructible.

"My name is Lucian. My true half, Gabriel, is half feral- which is why he reacted so rashly." I said quietly. "We need to start moving then. Your name...?"

"Solaris." she responded quietly. Hm.

Interesting.

"So who exactly is going after you?" I kept my tone strictly neutral.

"I don't know her name, exactly-"

"Her? Does she had blue eyes and a nasty attitude?" Confusion flickered over her face for a moment. Damn it.

"No... but her daughter does." she spoke slowly, I could smell the insecurity... the adrenaline that spiked. Gabriel would be going nuts. I paused, thinking through everything... 'Master' wasn't the brains of the outfit... her mother was.

"Let's get you moving." I started walking and suddenly stopped. "Get this collar off me." I hissed. She froze, and I could practically see her telling herself to get a backbone. She approached slowly, but with as much confidence as she could, and took off the collar.

"Sorry." she mumbled.

"Good." What do you expect? Me to say 'I forgive you'? You should know us better by now. Shame on you.

Gabriel, get out here. I'm tired of you getting all pissed off at nothing. Stop being such a bloody drama queen.

_I had a right, Lucian!_ I heard him snarl and felt his rage radiate through me. _So shut up!_

I sighed.

Fine, whatever. Just get out here.

I felt myself fade...

_**Gabriel**_

I was pissed. The girl... She had purple eyes. I blinked in surprise, my gaze going immediately to her neck. Were all messed up people at some point slaves? Collar scar. Looks like a lot of deep holes in a circle around your neck... like someone used a half inch drill to drill a half inch into your skin and laugh as you struggled to heal. Half inch _holes_. She was slim, waist length black hair, purple eyes that were too old for her- eyes that had seen too much too fast.

"You got a name, kid?" I noticed... my voice was getting meaner. Adrenaline spike... my eyes closed... I followed the scent...

A collar snapped around my neck. I was frozen.

"My name is Solaris. And until you can control your feral side, that collar is staying on." Little bitch had delivered an ultimatum.

_Sweet, she likes control. Just what you need._ Lucian was smirking, I could feel it.

Shut. Up.

I didn't fight the collar. I knew it was pointless, but I also knew how pathetic I was- _trained_ to this goddamned thing. I felt a feather light touch on my cheek. I looked into her purple eyes and was lost. Swirls of purple and gray...

I paused. My sanity... it was returning. I remembered logic. Blink.

_See? She _is_ good for you!_

Shut up, Lucian.

I shook my head a few times, trying to clear the fog that had enshrouded my mind for so long. She seemed to have a sixth sense or something, because she removed the collar. I couldn't believe it. And it showed obviously.

"I think you're okay now." she stated quietly. "So let's get moving." She was hiding something...

I shook myself out of whatever I was thinking. Whatever that was. I felt my feet begin to move, and hey, look-ie there, I followed. Wait. _Can_ you follow your feet?

"Gabriel?"

The girl looked about as confused as I was. I almost laughed. Whoa. Laughter? Since when?

_She's your base, idiot. You found your base._

What??? How can _I_ be lucky enough to get a base??? Only... like a small percentage (now who's the smartass?) _ever_ survive long enough to meet their base. A base is kinda like your light in the darkness... something that gives you a reason to stay there and fight the swelling tide of the black that threatened to consume your every waking breath... I breathed in deeply, feeling...

Good. Maybe she _was_ my base. I glanced at her and almost laughed again. She looked so confused... and I was just beginning to understand the miracle she'd just granted me- the miracle I didn't deserve. I felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders- like I'd just been reborn into the light...

"I don't deserve this." I found myself muttering.

"What don't you deserve?" she asked quietly. She'd suddenly gone from confused to serious, placing her hand over mine. I jumped a little at the unexpected touch.

"I don't deserve anything good." I surprised myself by replying. The original answer from me was 'it's nothing, don't worry' but that didn't go over to hot.

She looked surprised.

"Why is that?"

"I am a killer, always have been." I stated, my tone daring her to contradict me.

"Well... people change." My jaw dropped. How could she just wave away a lifetime of violence, murder, and cruelty in a single half sentence??????

I was speechless.

_She got you there._

I couldn't even say shut up. Seriously, I was that struck by her statement-

"Glass can be fixed." Where did she get that...?

I was frozen, yet again.

"It just takes time." We had time.

"It takes patience." She had plenty of that for both of us.

"And lastly... it takes love." Uh... I don't know about that one. But...

_You are willing to try._ I heard her voice steal into my head... felt it warm me all the way to my toes... kinda like hot chocolate on a cold day...

She smiled, pulling my hand as she started walking. I followed, still dumbfounded. How could I have gotten such a miracle... how...?

"Keep walking, Gabriel." I heard the hidden laugh within her voice. My temper was too powerful... how can I share such a horrible past with her? And yet she wanted to know me...

How could I have deserved someone like her?

Biggest question was...

Could I keep her with me? Or would I somehow drive her away like I did everyone else with my differences?

I collected myself slowly. She _still_ looked like she was trying to read me. I smirked inwardly. Just because- I cut off the thought, rewrote it, and tried a different one. Haha. Well, never mind. I'm going to make this unintentionally hard for her. I am certainly not used to _any _of this. Letting go of my mind for a moment to let it spread its wings and relax, I listened to my surroundings, closed my eyes and let go...

"Gabriel?" I shook myself out of it, bringing my mind's wings down to earth yet again. I glanced at her, almost in irritation, even though the anger was at myself for letting down my guard so damned often. I could feel her hiding something...

"What?" I snapped, my temper finally getting away from me. She didn't flinch or anything, but I saw her shuffle her feet in discomfort. "Sorry..." Why was _I_ apologizing? She nodded, looking down again. Ah man... I shouldn't have hurt her feelings-

_HOLD IT._ Where in the world was all this compassion and sense of self coming from? Certainly not from me- I was just a crazy piece of whatever I was made of.

_It's coming from her. As I said before, idiot, she's your base._

I ignored him. This felt too weird. I shouldn't be or _feel_ this... _sane_.

Well, one thing that's for sure. My parents will be disappointed.

_**Flashback**_

I had no idea, whatsoever, where I was going. But I guess that was a good thing. I had had a small taste of the power that I had felt at my dad's... and I was tempted to call it back. I wanted more of it. It was like an addiction... an addiction that hooked me the moment I felt it... like a drug that made you all powerful... made you want more and more, slowly seeping into the madness that surrounded this world and made it what it was.

I wanted it back.

Indefinitely.

Closing my eyes, I concentrated on bringing out the rage, making it come to me, whispering promises of release while it reassured me with promises of power. I could practically taste it. I curled my lip, my fangs revealed. My throat seemed to vibrate with its intensity, my fur rippled and waved on my back...

_Do not let in the rage!_

I was shocked back into my normal state, I could hear the rage snarling as it was pushed back behind the doors of my mind. A female voice... what the hell...? I finally relinquished my hold on the rage and felt it become nothing more than a dream... a dream I wanted to make reality.

_Who are you?_ I felt myself probing with my mind to try and find the speaker... but there was nothing. Nothing but her voice ringing in my mind.

I was confused... I felt the urge to take hold of the power (or was the power holding me?) but for some reason had no real thought compelling me towards it. I probably wouldn't again for a while. The voice stayed, her voice echoing with a tone that signaled true distress... but why?

Who was she?

And most importantly in _my_ circumstance... why did she care?

_**Present State of Mind**_

My eyes widened as I remembered this memory. I spun around too quickly it seemed- she almost fell over. She looked at me, a startled expression in her eyes. MY eyes widened in amazement. I had known she was startled from her eyes. Not the adrenaline rush. My voice was whisper when I finally spoke.

"Speak."

She cocked her head to the side, confusion now lining her features like a shadow across her obviously intelligent eyes.

"Ummm... hi?" I narrowed my eyes in a sudden anger.

"_Speak!_ Like say... Do not let it in. And mean it." her expression grew wary.

"Do not let it in."

I close my eyes, savoring the tone suddenly. It _was_ her. And once again I was too amazed to speak.

"It was you?" I managed, finally. Confusion again. I snarled, suddenly weary of what appeared to be her little games. "It _was _you!"

"What did I do?" she was getting irritated, I could see her eyes lighting up. Good. The truth always did flow easiest when the opening was widest.

"You were the one that called me back." I felt the statement come out as a whisper instead of the loud accusation I'd been hoping for. "When I was about to go feral..."

She looked as if she had an idea of what was going on... but not quite.

"I had a dream when I was just a kid." her voice was quiet. "I saw a boy. He had dark hair and red eyes tinged with gold... I can still remember the rage deep within those eyes. He was in a gray room with no windows or doors- full of weapons. But only three actually had color. A sword, a dagger, and a bow. The sword was red, the dagger a deep black, and the bow was a blue white. Each were on a stand or something. They were all clearly labeled... the sword said something about indifference... the dagger _clearly_ stated rage, and the bow seemed to whisper of peace and love. But the dagger was the brightest, the one my eye kept wandering to. The boy barely even looked at the bow and the sword. He went straight for the dagger. I yelled to him. I yelled at him 'do not let in the rage' because I felt somehow it would destroy him- as rage always does." her voice had a tone that told me she was embarrassed. My jaw was hanging.

I slowly pulled out my only weapon that I hadn't lost.

My black dagger.

She gasped, her eyes wide. "T-That's the dagger..." I nodded, looking at the weapon in my hand. It was glowing slightly. I felt her gaze on me, and I looked at her. Nothing could have prepared me for what I saw.

Her expression was one of utter and complete sadness. Her eyes seemed to drown in it, I could feel her heart struggle to pound as the sadness slammed against her heart, making her very breath difficult. I could hear the internal struggle, feel the adrenaline trying to keep her heart going. Her sadness... it could be fatal. Who was this sadness and regret for?

It was for me.

"You chose rage, Gabriel." she said softly, looking down at the glittering weapon in my calloused hands. "You will die... a slow and painful death- a life with no future- but the promise of rage and insanity." her eyes were glazed over as she spoke. My eyes widened in alarm. This was a vision, this wasn't any normal opinion. I choked on the air I breathed, falling to my knees.

"But there is a door, Gabriel." she continued softly. "But the door has many locks on them, making different combinations. The locks represent choices- the combinations, your reactions. There is no easy lock or combination on these series of locks... but there is only peace on the other side. Your first lock- is me." her eyes were a purple gold when she looked at me.

"Question is, will you take this decision in your hands and destroy it? Or will you take the decision and make the best of it? The answer is how you are in the near future..." She paused, her eyes going completely gold. "But be warned, Gabriel." her eyes concentrated on mine. I couldn't look away.

"This is one of your last chances. Use it well."

The gold quickly receded from her eyes... that's all I could see. I couldn't concentrate on anything else... I was frozen in this spot, thinking.

Was she my ticket out? Or my invitation back down to insanity?

Which would I inadvertently choose? Could I actually choose one? Or did all of this come down to instincts? Would I _ever_ be out of this circle of insanity?

"Gabriel?"

Her voice was weak. I blinked, and helped her sit down. Seeing with the Sight was hard work. But not this hard... She obviously could do it though. I just didn't know what to do with it.

She smiled up at me.

What could I do?

I smiled back, concealing my uncertainty behind my ears- she couldn't see it then. Fooled. She closed her eyes... Suddenly, I noticed a change in her.

The light from her eyes seemed to recede...

And her heart stopped.

_GABRIEL HOW COULD YOU???!!! How could you _failthe easiest test and _kill the only person who could've brought you back??? You killed her by your own need to protect your own selfish desires!! _Lucian screeched in my head. I couldn't move. My body was suddenly lead...

_They have us-! _His voice faded... he was gone.

Darkness.

_Let him have it. All of it? All. But- DO AS I COMMAND._

Sharp prick... Ow...

What was going on...?

Why can't I move?

I should use it... I need to get out of here... Reaching...

_He is going for it._

I snarled, leaping to my feet, trying to get my bearings. These assholes wanted a feral. They were about to get one.

The rage washed over me... it was like being off a drug for too long... I needed it. I roared, allowing my inner wolf freedom- letting do all of my boundaries.

There is _no_ salvation for me.

The rage is all I have. Solaris was wrong.

I struck out, letting everything go, letting everything go, letting everything go- I was finally, finally, _finally_ letting it take over. Tearing slashing, everything going red- my new favorite color.

And you know what?

I didn't care.

And you know what else, Solaris and all you other _idiots_ that believed I could be _saved??_

_You can't be saved if you're_ _already damned_.


End file.
